Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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