Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
