I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i will never coherently bang her
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
