dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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