Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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