that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
