There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
