Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
