Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
