when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize