Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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