yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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