I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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