I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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