you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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