People in love make me want to vomit
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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