Do you still have your period?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
