I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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