We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize