GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
