Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
