OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
