She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
