end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize