Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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