4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
