It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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