Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
