that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just high enough for therapy.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
