I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
