I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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