I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
