This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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