a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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