The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
