The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
