Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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