lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
