the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
