There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
