So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
