whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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