Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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