dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
