I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
