how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
