my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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