I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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