CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't deserve a penis
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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