Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
