so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
