We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
