the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
