a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize