dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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