My brain says no but my pants say off.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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