You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
