I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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