youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I understand Curling. That high.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
