We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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