I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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