Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
cat food counts as protein by the way
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
