i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
