New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
