You smell like stripper and shame
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
