If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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